-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

the dark horse in the running

Changed back into my 420 shirt when I got home. I'm bleeding, someone said my heart was black, and I'm walking around like Mama Cass in a metaphorical mumu.

I thought of a million different things to write down, then a million reasons why I couldn't or shouldn't, then my mind went blank and I had to start all over again.

When you feel like you have nothing to say or paint or wear, but you gotta keep doing it no matter what. It's like the only outlet I have into the rest of the world.

My meetin went well and all I have to do now is think like a person in advertising. She was like, 'you don't wanna work in pharmacuticals, you make a lot of money and you don't have to think at all.' Er, dream job much?

I've never been one to reach for the stars really. Never had my eye on the prize or even aimed very high. I'm not ambitious, no go getter.

You remember? I'm a master at cutting corners. Scamming stealing and cheating my way to complacency. I won't wow you with genius honey, so if you're looking for the girl who wins the ribbons, catches the fly ball, or picks the winning numbers...

I ain't it.

9:47 p.m. - 2006-04-20

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

history - mystery