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this house is a hotel
i was thinking that if i ever do get married, i don't think i want a wedding, i think i would rather elope. not that i think about these things all the time or anything but...i think a wedding is kind of a waste of money and it's real showy and kind of tacky. like i can't think of any kind of situation where i wouldn't be totally embarassed or humilated at my wedding. everything about weddings seems so corny when they are done traditionally. and also, most people just get married because they want a wedding. in the same way that i had a bat mitzvah just because i wanted the party. this is why most people get divorced. it all just seems like a big expensive headache. i do want to get married tho and not too late because as i look around new york and notice the casualties of the dating world, i start getting anxiety. i'm not gonna get into this now though. i can't give out too much information, i might hurt someone's feelings or worse yet, jinx myself. jk'ing. obviously i'm going through social withdrawl. oh i also have a feeling that i am not going to get into bard. i think i was just trying so hard or wanted to believe that i was the acedemic-type. so not that. but the sad news is that if i dont think of something quick i am gonna have to move outta my apt. wow. racing thoughts. i feel like my brain is all cracky. i like it. eliza is getting married. peter lives with his dad his brain is fucked up he was wearing a helmet. i can't believe this is peter's life, or eliza's, and it what ways are each of them happy and sad? i wonder if it all balances it out somehow? she will be the rich wife of a hollywood director. he will be learning how to read again. i wonder who is chosen, and who is not? or if there even is such a thing. oh wow. now you know what happens when i go to work.
4:50 p.m. - 2005-01-29
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history - mystery
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