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stiff as a board

the fear. i feel the fear creepy crawling down my spine. it is slow. a dark shadow in water. what is it? no one knows.

a shark? you swim away as fast as you can. you can't remember if sharks are like bees, are they attracted to quick and sudden movements? if i move around a lot will this fear disappear? what if i lie still? if i don't move?

if i'm still, i'm as good as dead. and so i pretend
that moving around
actually feels good.

i seem to have forgotten this anxiety. it's like i know it is here with me, but i am at a loss of words these days. a limited vocabulary. something is wrong but i can hang out and wait for it to be wronger.

do u think miami is gonna be fun? what will u wear on the plane? what will you write down in your secret thoughts diary? are there sharks and jellyfish this time of year? will they eat me alive?

do you promise??

5:34 p.m. - 2004-12-11

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history - mystery