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old entry--august 20 something

i was real sad and lonely my first night in this apartment. i guess cuz it was supposed to be for the both of us, but now its just me. the apartment right across from mine, on the outside, has the sickest balcony and right now they�re bbqing and the smells go straight into my window. this room is nice. i don�t feel like i�m in new york. i don�t know where i feel like i am.

pam from austin just called me and she was like, �i�m so glad you called! thanks so much for calling me, it means so much...� but i didn�t call her. she called me. it was weird. i didn�t say anything.

i had a really fun night last night at group therapy. the group was really normal and low key and we didn�t even have to talk about anything �obvious�, we just all knew it and went with it and it ended up being really sweet and totally fun. it felt really good to get all of that out of me, to let it all go.

i wonder if you have sex with someone, everyone knows the next day, like can you smell it or is it all over your face? what if its a secret? is it like it never happened? like a tree falling in the woods? and if the tree did fall, does anyone even care? no, nobody cares.

well, all the bugs that get crushed. they care.

2:30 p.m. - 2004-09-07

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history - mystery