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free love on the free love freeway

i can't move my neck. so much pain. fucking roller coaster (of life). dr. isaacs perscribed a huge vat of vicodins. i'm gonna have to give them away. i have a sense that something is flying over my head right now, but i can't look up! too much pain. maybe its a bee.

i have to:

get jo a bday gift

work on step 5

get a stamp

get shoes fixed

pick up laundry

write (vice, etc)

and my main concern of the day is whether or not i want to be a phone sex operator. can i really do it? it pays really well, like $20 a call and each call lasts 7-10 minutes. in my head i'm all, oh yeah i can totally do it. but i cant seem to pick up the phone. this woman marie keeps calling, and she sniffs every 20 seconds which makes me wonder if she's doing coke or dope. not that it makes any difference at all. is this something i can really do?

pros: really good money

don't have to leave house

make my own hours

dont have to work very many hours

get to make up a name and a totally diffs identity. thats not really a "pro" but its kind of cool in a way.

cons: may interfere with my sex life.

may fuck up my thinking towards sex psychologically.

would have to keep it a secret from others.

would have to talk to totally gross dudes on the phone

would feel gross all the time???

ugh, why can't i just find a nice job at a college library or edit manuscripts or something?

i dont know if i can really deal with free love on the free love freeway.

i got some more thinkin to do.

2:15 p.m. - 2004-07-20

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