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with arms outstretched
tonight alain was totally wasted and told me that this diary was a link on pat's website! crazy. i had no fucking clue. i got scared, and then i got excited because i'm the kind of person who gets off on that kind of thing. but then i got super scared and hopped on my bike and rushed home to delete shit, but as it turns out, there's not much to delete because my life is pretty boring. i found an apartment for me and jo. it's on st marks btwn 2nd and 3rd which is laterd but whateves. its cool. put new meaning in "arfin's hick'ry hideout" because it looks like a log cabin. for serious, the walls are brown, some of them, and it feels very snuggly and warm and almost even feels like a hotel, which i'm totally into. rilo kiley is sooooo good. i like writing music reviews not which i used to not be into. this summer isn't a bummer, but its kind of whatever. who cares. a season is a season is a season. i was having so much trouble writing but when i sat alone today i thought: discipline. the key the key the answer. an hour non stop everyday. plus i'm going on this meditation retreat for 10, no talking. no smoking. no writing. no smiling. just god. i had to sign up 3 months in advance so i have to mentally prepare myself. i truly feel like this is something i can do. its something i need to do. innocence, experience. all that. wow, listening to certain songs really makes me wish i was in a band. i'm still so sad about milly and the sacry stories. i guess there's still hope. sort of. maybe one day i can reinvent myself. i guess not anytime soon. with arms unstretched, i embrace this. the power of fucking rock music. cornz, i know. there is more i want to say about that, but its 3am and i sleepy. goodnite bad news, wherever you are. and pc. you are always on my mind.
3:00 a.m. - 2004-07-16
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history - mystery
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