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go home, cry, die

i'm having so much anxiety. it never seems to let up. this apartment thing is really making me crazy. jordan is driving me crazy because he doesn't care about living in a nice place. he hasn't helped me look at all. and then just work, this stupid fucking iD thing. i could really give a shit about it. *****and ***** and ****, oh my. eat a dick. **** really needs to eat one, and i do too for the fakness i provide.

i kind of want to leave. i kind of want to break up with jordan. i love him but he's been annoying me so much lately. we're so wrapped up in it. in it each other and everything around us. we're both so impressionable. i'm kinda over it. i'm not over him, but i a waiting for another chapter in my life to unfold and start.

it makes wanna go home and cry and i want to die.

what happens next? maybe that question alone is just making the anxiety worse. it's a fucking stoops question anyway.

3:00 a.m. - 2004-07-03

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