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stoops 2

its official that i'm psychotic, for reasons that are even too precious for diaryland. my secret almost/sort of did get out last night and i'm sure if one knew the situation, they could imagine the shock and embaressment that came afterwards. it weirds me out that jordan seems so cool about ignoring this little "situation", which for right now is i guess the best thing for both of us. he was all "we'll see what happens during christmas with the 2 of you, and what everyone thinks of the situation", but there is no "us" and there definatly isnt a situation, aside from the one thats going on my head. its fucked and its not going away either. one thing i think i'm sure of is that i am not ready for my relationship with jordan to end no matter what right now, and i truly dont want to hurt him either.

i wish i knew how to transfer the psychosis to the page. but its not all psychosis. some of was real energy. pheromones, chemicals, and other things from outer space. i dont understand why i'm still the only one responding to it. actually, i dont want an answer to that question.

top ten for today:

1.roccawear

2.out of the blue

3.neil young song from out of the blue

4.egg sandwich in bed

5.rolling deep to the movies

6.jordans winter hat

7.new nerdy comic books

8.

9.

10.

10:02 p.m. - 2003-11-09

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