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i've been waiting for this my whole life

it takes a lot of courage to be the best person you can be. everyday, on a daily fucking basis, to do the best job of your capability. it takes balls to try that hard and not expect results everytime. the idea of just that is more inspiring than anything i've seen or heard in a long time.

but also, carlton said something really cool too. he said that nothing is ever about just what you think its about, its always about something more. whether your talking about God or an apple, a person you know, or a trip. like i went to europe, but it wasn't REALLY about just going to europe. or better, i did drugs. but it wasn't about the drug. it was 25% the drug, 75% a whole different game.

there are not that many smart people in this world, but when you find them, be careful not to let them go. farber said she didn't want to stop getting fucked up because she's get bored. she's a really smart girl and in the past we've learned a lot from each other. she's also really scared. growing a set of balls doesn't require wit or brains, but if you already have those things, then growing a set of balls will teach other people and inspire other people to make, say, and do cool ass shit. then maybe the world wouldn't be full of so many fucking assholes. stockbrokers, soccar moms, people who rape babies and fly planes into buildings.

but who cares. all i can do is try to be the best person at whatever i'm super passionate about. thats hard enough.

i'm gonna go watch porn now.

3:03 a.m. - 2002-11-25

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