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it doesnt mean 4 ever

i'm in love with a boy who doesn't exist, not even remotly on this plain. and maybe this is why i love him. because he's so far and so unatainable. and he doesn't love me back. that too.

he's not even close to perfect. he talks to much and says a lot of corny shit. but he says stuff. not too quiet, not too shy, not too scared of anything at all.

his email's are pretty short. but full of good stuff, like 'i hope everything is cream and dream.'

i want everything to be cream and dream. especially the state i live in. it's so far away from his. it's so far north. his head is up north too, but it's my heart that's in the dirty, dirty south. i keep thinking that i can turn this around. these states, these plains. this map. i'll edit it, change it up and make it better for everyone who is love with someone who lives far away.

because maybe if they were closer, they could be loved back.

maybe if i didn't say such stupid shit all the time, i'd have a boyfriend.

maybe if i didn't want a boyfriend, i'd have one.

and then we wouldn't need maps. we wouldn't really need anything at all.

this is just how i feel right now. not always.

2:37 a.m. - 2002-08-09

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history - mystery