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i wanna be a movie

i really cannot wait to leave nyc. everyone says i'm not gonna want to come back. maybe i wont. how sweet would that be? unfortunatly i doubt i have the balls for that.

haven't been to meetings lately. dont care as much as i probably should.

lately i'm all writer's block and masturbation and pot smoking and bike riding. un-enthused by the world. uninspired by everything. but i'm not bored. i've been sick of the whole dntwn sceney thing as of late and i'm kinda just into staying home. doin nuthin. i owe lots of money to the video store. fuck. the reggae album that steven got me is really good actually. i feel like vice dont need me. not for stories, not for interviews, not for a record label. i hate the way my picture came out in dazed & confused. really. i cant believe terry chose that picture.

i'm trying hard not to completly hate myself but when i cant write i feel absolutly worthless. like, for real dude.

i try to flirt and scam on guys but then i'm like, sigh, whats the point? i dont even care. its usually pretty fun to scam, but like any other drug, it stops working.

yo dude why is so important to like, know thyself or whatever, dude? dude! lets get wasted!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! fuck the world and stuff! who cares about a self reflection? its time to ROCK and PARTY like its your LAST DAY ON PLANET EARTH!

-sorry, andrew wk just invaded my soul for a second-

sndtrk: nuggets, jah malla, jefferson airplane, motorhead, the go-go's "vacation"

4:53 p.m. - 2002-06-25

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