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The View

Another weekend away and now i'm back. Ready to face the demons I've been running away from?
Shrug shrug don't know.

Met all of SL's friends, wedding, lake house, kids, guitar, corn on the cob. I made a pie from scratch and caught 4 fish. No big deal.

The more I do this work I'm telling you, the more I get lost in the moment. It's supposed to be a story of what it was like then, leading up to what it's like now, more or less. But what it's like now feels so different.

I feel out of touch with my friends. I walk by Max Fish really fast on my way home from work. But it's not "everyone else" this time, like it was, or how I thought it was when I was 16. No, I know it's just my own stupid social anxiety. I need to make more meetings.

Somtimes it is still so hard for me to believe that I deserve to be happy or that I have true friends. I think in the back of my head I am still secretly waiting for that great big Hawk to appear from the sky and start picking at my eyeballs with his sharp-ass beak.

Sometimes no matter where I go, I think that every kind of love I find is conditional.

1:30 p.m. - 2006-08-29

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