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Pobody's Nerfect

I'm so glad I don't care about things I used to care about so much.

I actually felt guilty when I was 15 for NOT doing a zine. Funny. Is anyone still like that? Ben and I were talking...

So much has changed for me. As I read back and as I go and work everyday. Go home after. Look around, hang around...I'm biting my tongue right now. Holding back. No need for no need.

New York has changed, yes that's true. But I'm really just getting older. Reading what I wrote in 10th grade...

"I hate being fake," or
"I don't really like my friends" or even
"I feel like I've been this age forever."

Because in a way, we stay the same age for a few years. We grow like in leap years, you know? The numbers change and we start looking different and all that, but unless we learn something we stay the same. The same means not-growing.

We need to learn that "some-thing." One thing. You know, a thing or a concept. Revelation, epiphany. Anything, whatever. You know it when it hits you. It feels good-weird.

Unless we learn these things we don't get older. We don't grow up. I have been so young for soooo long. It shocked me.

The bad news is that I realized today that I'm only 16.

The good news is that I think I'm turning 17 really, really soon.

6:55 p.m. - 2006-08-22

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history - mystery