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getting the love we want

When a person first starts to court another, they come up with all these preconcieved notions of how they want to the other person to see them, so that the other one will like them. They fill an emotional quota so to speak, sort of like "you will give me what my parents did not." But they don't want you to know that yet. In fact, they don't even know that they know that, and they will do whatever it takes to get you to like them.

So things like, "I'm not needy" or
"I love cooking" or
I like to read" or
"I like spending time alone" or
"It's important that I eat healthy" or even
"I don't want a relationship." These things aren't really true. They don't count.
And when I ask you if you like reading, and you say yes, I think you are just saying that to make me think you like reading. So I can say: He's perfect. He's cute, nice, smart, funny, and he even likes to read!

What I mean to say is eventually, when the two have realized that they both like each other equally or whatever, and they can stop trying to win the other person, usually the opposite of all these things come out. (Which is probably why couples stop having sex??)

I don't want to do this anymore, to appear to be something I'm not to get the guy to like me. I don't wanna trick or be tricked.

Hmmmm, so let me think. The opposite of everything, right?

When I say I don't care, I do. Because if I really didn't care, then I doubt I would even have to say "I don't care."

Is that it?

I don't like to cook and I'm not good at decorating. I like sleeping late, wasting time, smoking in bed, being naked, cursing in front of parents. I read easy books. I suck at Scrabble, I'm not good at wearing high heels, I buy expensive face cream, I don't listen to The Germs anymore even though I have the stupid tattoo... but I'm willing to change.

Because you think I'm tough but I'm not. I'll be your housewife! I'll change for you baby xoxox hahahahahha weird

6:46 p.m. - 2006-02-26

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history - mystery