-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

a fake forever

i guess what bothers me most of all about the merks thing is that what, am i like the new lizzy or something? ben acted so trife towards her back in the day and she didnt seem to give a shit at all when he was ready to accept her back. what, am i supposed to scare her into being my friend or something?

that is such a power trip role thing and not how im friends with people at all. its like, with my friends, since like 1997, when there is a problem we talk about it. unless that person was never really my friend in the first place. like milly--not really a friend so ps who cares. i care. i can count on both my hands and feet the amount of people who don't, but i actually do.

maybe people, people that you would never think, actually see an apology as a sign of weakness. and being weak is sooooo scary right? its like a disease and uh oh if you catch it there's no cure. right?

hey maybe telling the truth about yourself is contangious too. and maybe that's even sacrier. i dont think its so hard to say sorry anymore, especially when you actually mean it. when you mean it, saying sorry feels pretty good.

but why dont i feel good yet?

HEY...afraid is much better than a fake 4ever.

5:23 p.m. - 2004-10-04

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

history - mystery