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too easy to be darby

its been a long time.

i dont think J wants me to go iceland with him, which i guess i understand. a part of me is thinking about calling gordon and moving to paris and living/working at surface to air. maybe for a few months at least. and i aint even high right now. i'm just a girl who like to keep things on the go.

keepin it green n shit.

i just want a boy who will build shelves and paint my walls with me. this boy, who will get on a greyhound and sleep on my shoulder. we'll always be on the move. different cities and never alone.

sometimes i pretend its the boy who has peaches fall out of his mouth when he speaks. he's in another world. waiting tables, wheatpasting, wasting away. waiting for me.

whatever.

i cant stop thinking about sex when i'm at meetings. bfd.

i dont want to be a crusty dumpster punk. that was like, cool in 1991. i just want to wear silk n sequins, with my cowboy. kicking up the dust as we ride off. kicking it in everyone's fucking ass-face. relax, ima kidding.

i'm going to read: the talented mr.ripley, madame bovary, tender is the night, and possibly the shining. in between i have the massive cometbus. this is what will keep me busy as i contemplate my future because if something exceptional doesnt happen in new york city after halloween,

peace motherfuckers.

1:52 a.m. - 2002-09-29

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