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nightlife!

smoking weed sucks. it is not the new coke. people get boring and quiet and are afraid to look at each other directly in the eyes. potheads love the doors and blacklight posters and "chillout" music and that is stupid and gay and if you dont know about the real nightlife, you dont know nothing. its all about raging and keeping it real, even if your just people watching and drinking coffee. that can be nightlife as well. nightlife can even exist during the day. you know what i mean if you know.

surprise, we're in amsterdamn, on the prowl for some fucking rude nightlife, because the hostel (where we only got mattresses on the floor) seems like its nightlife, but its decieving. very young crowd. bong hits. stupid/unfunny/awkwardness. where are all the blokes? many a cuties here, as well as berlin, which i think gets four stars for its hotness factor. no email from RWH yet, and the anxiety has only settled a tad. not looking too forward to paris to be quite honest, because its expensive and lacks nightlife. i think. has my trip ended? did it end in prague? bullocks to that.

i want a new email. i want a new sleep pattern. a new vocabulary. a new smitten little kitten. a new theme. a new sense of humor.

trying not to let my heart sink too fast. trying to work this little balancing act thingy. you know.

10:20 p.m. - 2002-07-31

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