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i can't fight this feeling anymore

work is a boring topic. maybe if i had any talent at all i wouldn't be so worried about my career. actually, that is false. i do have talent. i just doubt my rockstar potential, and really, that is what i want to do. just rock. take over the world and stuff.

another part of me is afraid i wont be able to deliver another good article. i wrote the GP guide when i was high and that is a FACT. i even came up with the idea when i was high. i know that doesn't mean anything. i mean, i guess i know that. they are making a GP tshirt, which is HUGE, however i can't give myself any credit until i write something else equally well. why this is i dont know. i just want to keep going. the high i get from my work is better than dope and that's a fact too. dangerously addictive.

i made G laugh a lot today and that makes me feel good because he is the funniest motherfucker i know. i used to be so intimidated by him. then i slept with him, and now i work for him. but still, he is the one person i still need approval from, which bothers me but it's my own shit. i just think he's so smart and successful and i want that. i want to be him. i've always wanted that. why can't i let that go already?

going to see andrew wk tonight.

psyched city, pop: me.

8:58 a.m. - 2040-03-10

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