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whateves

i feel sick at work tonight. like real sick, nausea. from real things in the world, not things only exisiting in heads.

fingers crossed for this apartment on ludlow. not my fave block, but there's a bathtub in the kitchen and horses painted on the walls. just sick of this yearly cycle. pack unpack pack unpack. i'm over it. just throwing everthing away.

sick of sentiments & collections.

i have been staying in a lot, but not in a bad way. thoughts and feelings are changing. real things are surfacing and it feels ok for them to exist. in other words, changing.

it's not as bad as i thought it would be.

i am looking forward to indian summer, young adult writing, a kitchen table next to some open windows, hanging plants, taking a bath in the kitchen,

not much else.

7:23 p.m. - 2005-08-08

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