-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
never have a 5 year plan
i am so scared i am full of fear and self doubt i am full of sugar and carbs i am full of shit and piss i am full of pizza and animal crackers i am full anxiety and stress i am full of suicidal thoughts and "just kidding"'s i am full of not wanting to write because there is so much pressure i am full of words that want to be written down in a way that sounds "fresh" and "jazzy" i am full of curse words i am full of longing and desire i am full of not ever wanting to use the word "desire" again i am full bad dreams and exciting nightmares i am full of the ability of embarass my self on cue i am full of fuck i am full of the wrong things said at the wrong times. bad poems bad poems bad poems. no future. no good hand. the attention is dwindling. my pockets are empty. i am a spoiled brat. i am so panicked and scared. i want to smoke. i want to drink. i want to disapear. i want to move. go to school. be a teacher. teach a kid. learn to write. get a dog. hold a hand. kiss a cheek. buy a dress. have a baby. make a meal. read a book. i am so full of plans.
8:43 p.m. - 2004-11-16
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
history - mystery
|