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jammies

Work is the perfect excuse for isolating.
For the past few days I have been in a bad head space. Not even McDonald's helps.
Fights with everyone, can't make a phone call, can't write it out.
Bored hungry angry lonely tired not tired but wish I was tired.
There is no cure, just time I guess.
It's so cold. I hate it when the phone rings.

I think even before I got sober I believe in God because I remember 7am one time I said, "Thank you God. Thank you God for afterhours."

Right now I hate Halloween, hate Thanksgiving, hate Christmas. I've always hated New Years.

I even tried retail therapy today but there were so many people. There were so many things to buy and people were just buying buying buying and I started looking at stuff and really believing that I needed all this garbage and bullshit. That I had to buy it, that I needed this stuff to fill me up and make me better but it was just making me feel worse.

The perfect dress, the best boots ever, the coat for all occasions. My favorite outfit is my nightgown.

Oh my gosh I sound like my dad.

Except for the part about the nightgown.

6:42 p.m. - 2006-10-29

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