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little orphan arfin

so i found myself an apartment. for real. i'm pretty sure i mentioned before that the bathtub is in the kitchen and that the light is good. i look forward to hanging curtains on the windows. sheer white curtains that blow in the breeze.

my only concern is that the apartment is probably a little over 300 square feet. and with two cats, that's about a 100 square feet for each of us. i don't have aa problem with small spaces, in fact, i prefer it, however the hairball factor sends me into a slight rage. i can just picture the dust bunnies gathering in a cold quiet corner. this image makes me feel nervous.

i spoke to eliza who couldn't get in touch with me. she would read this diary and read all about what was going on in my life, but couldn't contact me via phone or email. she's getting married soon. i wonder if her wedding date is the same as emily's. for some reason i have a feeling it is, because we all know what happens when it rains.

it fucking pours nigga!

with all these people marrying i can't help but think of my parents divorce, which seems to be resurfacing now because i never properly dealt with the anger and sadness around the situation.

it all happened so fast. one day we were a family. one day we were not. my house in woodbury is no longer my home, and my dad's rental in sag harbor doesn't even come close. he's on drugs. you can tell by the way he never stops talking. and my mom feels uncomfortable around me.

needless to say, i'm feeling a bit orphaned.

3:27 a.m. - 2005-08-11

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history - mystery