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love is all around us

ugh, everything about last night is making me wanna barf. why? whywhywhywhy? so C comes, all my high school girls were there, all the skater boys were there, and it was fun. i was flirting with C a bit and i'm all 'are you drunk?' and he's all 'i'm very drunk mommi.'

and i'm all, 'oh word poppi?' very cute. did i mention i'm trying to be puerto rican?

anywho, we tried to fuck in the bathroom? it was weird? didn't happen? i feel like a chickenhead? i blew it? then he left. and now what?

part of me wants to call him and be like nononono last night was weird but everything is still cool. i'm sorry. why do i want to apologize? there's no reason for me to apologize. why should i be sorry about anything? i'm always so quick to just say i'm sorry cuz i feel like it will fix everything. but then another part of me just wants to run away and forget that i exist and pretend like none of this ever happened. is there an in between?

i feel it in my fingers, i feel it in my toes...

i dont even care that it's in a gap commercial, i still want that trogg's song to be my wedding song. its so good. sam closed the set with it last night and i closed my eyes and pretended to be in love. it kinda worked.

dont know what i'm gonna do about C, but i dont want these yucky feelings and i wonder if he thinks i'm a big fat slut. i should write it on my belly in marker. there's something about boning in a bathroom that is so punk rock, but once you get over that, it's just nazzty.

maybe i'm wrong. maybe he feels stupider. who cares. one day we'll all die. dont sweat the technique.

oh word?

1:32 p.m. - 2002-07-10

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