-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

aces

i met a new boy who doesn't drink or do drugs and i really like him and i relapsed but not because of him and i really dont feel guilty about it or anything i just dont think i was ready to surreneder completly or hand my will over to god or whatever and to be honest i just dont think i was ready to quit everything FOREVER and i know it's not forever but 'just for today' but we all know that really means forever.

i didn't drink because i wanted to escape and i dont want to DIE or ESCAPE. there is no reason, its just cuz. i also smoked weed. yum. it doesnt mean i am gonna go all out and start shooting up in again, in fact, i really dont want to go back there at all. will i? just for today i wont. FUCK YOU!

i do feel weird about the following things: terry, suroosh, my committment, beata.

my new boy is really top notch i think. he's a lot of things, but retarded he is not. well, only in the best way. here is my one word review:

steven walsh

8 1/2

23 year old cute skater boy

lives with parents in queens

-aces-

2:50 a.m. - 2002-06-18

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

history - mystery